Joke !!!

Here is another One you all have to watch

http://catholic.ie/

Joe Cocker read the Lyrics
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T4_MsrsKzMM

Nostagic 80's arcade game graffiti...

Bit rude,so apologies..........

Three women friends, one in a casual relationship, one engaged to be married and one a long-time wife, met for drinks after work. The conversation eventually drifted towards how best to spice up their sex lives.

After much discussion, they decided to surprise their men by engaging in some S&M role playing.

The following week they met up again to compare notes. Sipping her drink, the single girl leered and said, 'Last Friday at the end of the work day I went to my boyfriend's office wearing a leather coat. When all the other people had left, I slipped out of it and all I had on was a leather bodice, black stockings and stiletto heels. He was so aroused that we made mad passionate love on his desk right then and there!'

 The engaged woman giggled and said, 'That's pretty much my story! When my fiancé got home last Friday, he found me waiting for him in a black mask, leather bodice, black hose and stiletto pumps.
He was so turned on that we not only screwed all night, he wants to move forward our wedding date!

 The married woman put her glass down and said, 'I did a lot of planning. I made arrangements for the kids to stay over at their Grans. I took a long scented-oil bath and then put on my best perfume.I slipped into a tight leather bodice, a black garter belt, black stockings and six-inch stilettos. I finished it off with a black mask. When my husband got home from work,he grabbed a beer and the remote, sat down and yelled,.................................. 'Hey, Batman, what's for dinner?''

Appeal after Floods


Finglas was hit badly by the floods over the weekend. Victims were seen
wandering around aimlessly muttering  ' Whaas da bleeeding Story ?'
'Aaaaaawright bud' and 'fuuuucksake'.
The flooding decimated the area causing approximately 30 euro worth of
damage.  Several priceless collections of mementos from Benidorm and Santa
Ponsa were damaged beyond repair. Three areas of historic burnt cars were
destroyed. Many locals were woken well before their welfare cheque arrived.

RTE News reported that hundreds of resident were confused and bewildered,
still trying to come to the terms with the fact that the damage had not
been caused by illegal means.
One resident : Alexis Crystal Duffy, a 15 year old mother of 5 said  'It
was such a F***in shock, me little wan Chardonnay Mercedes cem runnin inta
me bedruem cryin, Me youngisst two Tyler Morgan an Megan Brooklyn slept tru
ih all. But I was bleeedin shaken watchin F***in Rikki Laaake in da mornin'

Apparently though, looting, muggings and incidental crime did carry on as
usual. The Irish Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of
Strongbow, Dutch Gold, Frozen Pizzas, and John Player Blue to the area to
help stricken locals.

Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large
quantities of personal belongings, which include Welfare Books and
Jewellery including thousands of Sovereign Rings, many large Medallions and
Hash Leaf Shaped earrings from Elizabeth Duke at Argos also Fine Bone China
from Tommy's Wonderland of Value.

This Appeal is to raise money for food and clothing Parcels for those
unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster. Clothing is most
sought after, items most needed include:
-Fake Burberry or Kappa Baseball Caps
-Hoodies (any type)
-Tommy Hilfiger Tracks Suits (his and hers)
-Nike/Adidas Shell Suits (female)
-White Donnay Sports Socks Rockport Boots (and any other items usually sold
in TK Maxx)
-Anything from Magic or Unique
Food Parcels may be harder to come by as refrigeration may be a problem,
but are needed all the same.
-Required Foodstuffs include:
-McCains Oven Chips
-lidl/Aldi Baked Beans
-Lidl/Aldi Frozen Pizzas
-Coke/Fanta
-Strongbow Cider
-Smirnoff Ice
-John Player Blue 15s

And Remember That Your Cash Contribution Also Counts!!!
Just 22c buys a biro for filling in the  compensation forms and Bookies
slips
Just 5 euro buys chips, crisps and blue  fizzy drinks for a family of 9
Only 6 euro will pay for a packet of 20 Major  to calm the nerves of those
affected.
Thank You Very Much For Your Help.

Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert, wandering aimlessly and close to death. They are close to just lying down and waiting for the inevitable, when all of a sudden.......

'Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon I is sure of eet.'

'Si, Luis eet smells like bacon to meee.'

So, with renewed strength, they struggle up the next sand dune, and there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon.

There's raw bacon, dripping with moisture, there's fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon... every imaginable kind of cured pig meat.

'Pepe, Pepe, we is saved. 'Eees a bacon tree.'

'Luis, are you sure ees not a meerage? We ees in the Desert don't forget.'

'Pepe when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smell like bacon...
ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree'.

And with that... Luis Races towards the tree. He gets to within 5 metres, Pepe following closely behind, when all of a sudden, a machine gun opens up,and Luis is cut down in his tracks. It is clear he is mortally wounded but, a true friend that he is, he manages to warn Pepe with his dying breath.

'Pepe... go back man,you was right ees not a bacon tree.'

'Luis Luis mi amigo... what ees it?

'Pepe... ees not a bacon tree...
 

Ees




Ees




Ees



Ees




Ees




Ees




Ees




Eees a Ham Bush.
I Know its sad

Nice one Dayo

Joey - like the Ham Bush !!

Dayo - nice one. 

Was replying to Smashing on the 'Rant' thread and it reminded me of this story from my Da (RIP).

When he was young, him and my uncle Paddy were rascals around Mohill, Leitrim.

There was this old guy, who as my father said 'kicked with the left foot' and was notorious for taking a sup too much in the local pubs.

So one night my Da and Paddy got this idea to scare th sh*t outta him.

So while this geezer was on his way home my Da and Paddy put a donkey in his kitchen, there were half doors in them days, and then hid behind bushes.

When the geezer got home, tanked up, and went into his house and lit his candles, lo and behold the donkey started braying and the poor old bloke came running out not knowing if the donkey was real or that he had too much drink and the donkey came running out after him.