Joke !!!

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   No,the the ones I know are brother and sister and they are from Bandon originally. Family home is Floraville, big gaff, think it's at the top of one of the main streets. 16 years since I was there so memory a bit hazy.

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Rolo Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Admin Group �79 - �85 Joined: 08-July-2005 Status: Offline Points: 9282	Post Options Post Reply Quote Rolo Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 09-October-2006 at 00:19
	No,the the ones I know are brother and sister and they are from Bandon originally. Family home is Floraville, big gaff, think it's at the top of one of the main streets. 16 years since I was there so memory a bit hazy.

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ShayG Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Groving 86-91ish Joined: 21-November-2005 Location: Bandon originally Belton Park Status: Offline Points: 315	Post Options Post Reply Quote ShayG Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 09-October-2006 at 00:21
	thas orla so i guess she be local ..johnny only arrived in bandon bout 4 years ago ..
	never forget your roots..northside forever

eejit91 Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Moderator Group Grove Years 1979-1983-84ish Joined: 12-October-2005 Location: Sometimes here and sometime Status: Offline Points: 8180	Post Options Post Reply Quote eejit91 Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 09-October-2006 at 13:49
	Three Old Mischievous Grandmas Three old mischievous grandmas were sitting on a bench outside a nursing home. About then an old grandpa walked by, and one of the old grandmas yelled out saying, "We bet we can tell exactly how old you are." The old man said, "There ain't no way you can guess it, you old fools." One of the ornery grandmas said, "Sure we can! Just drop your under shorts and we can tell your exact age." Embarrassed just a little, he dropped his drawers. The grandmas stared at him for a while, asked him to turn around a couple of times, asked him to jump up and down for a little while and then they all piped up and said, "You're 84 years old!" "How in the world did you guess?!?" The ornery old grandmas, snickered and laughed. Slapping their knees and grinning from ear to ear, all three happily yelled in unison, "Because we were at your birthday party yesterday."
	"Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better."

Kay Fagan Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Moderator Group Joined: 28-March-2005 Location: Ireland Status: Offline Points: 3439	Post Options Post Reply Quote Kay Fagan Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 09-October-2006 at 14:52
	Bono is at a U2 concert in Glasgow when he asks the audience for some quiet. Then in the silence, he starts to slowly clap his hands. Holding the audience in total silence, he says into the microphone.....! "Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies." A voice from near the front pierces the silence....!! "Well, stop f***ing doing it then??.!"
	Kay Fagan

eejit91 Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Moderator Group Grove Years 1979-1983-84ish Joined: 12-October-2005 Location: Sometimes here and sometime Status: Offline Points: 8180	Post Options Post Reply Quote eejit91 Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 09-October-2006 at 16:18
	I know this is American Football - but I think this is great! Enjoy... Three football fans were on their way to watch the games when one notice a foot sticking out of the bushes by the side of the road. They stopped and discovered a beautiful nude female dead drunk. Out of respect and propriety, the Notre Dame fan took off his cap and placed it over her right breast. The buckeye fan took off his cap and placed on her left breast. Following their lead, the Wolverine fan took off his cap and placed over her crotch. The police were called and when the officer arrived, he conducted his inspection. First, he lifted up the Buckeyes cap, replaced it, and wrote down some notes. Next, He lifted the Notre Dames cap, replaced it and wrote some more notes. The officer then lifted the Wolverines cap, replaced it, then lifted again, replaced it and then lifted it a third time, and replaced it one last time. The Wolverine fan was getting upset and finally asked, "What are you, a pervert or something? Why do you keep lifting and looking, lifting and looking?" "Well," said the officer, "I am simply surprised. Normally when I look under a Wolverine hat, I find an asshole."
	"Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better."

ShayG Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Groving 86-91ish Joined: 21-November-2005 Location: Bandon originally Belton Park Status: Offline Points: 315	Post Options Post Reply Quote ShayG Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 09-October-2006 at 21:16
	Written on the door of a toilet cubicle in a pub in town: Word of advice for asthmatics - 'don't go anywhere the scenery is breathtaking.'
	never forget your roots..northside forever

finno Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Die Hard Grover! �77 to 82ish Joined: 21-September-2006 Location: Ireland Status: Offline Points: 3885	Post Options Post Reply Quote finno Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 10-October-2006 at 14:11
	The Irish Times October 9, 2006 - A seven-year-old boy was at the center of a courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over whom should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulations requiring that family unity be maintained to the degree possible. The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried out that they also beat him. After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him. After two recesses to check legal references and confer with child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody of the child to the Republic of Ireland soccer team , whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.
	A man must have a code

Bluebell Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List I have no life! 1981 to 1984 Joined: 07-February-2006 Location: In my kitchen Status: Offline Points: 5054	Post Options Post Reply Quote Bluebell Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 10-October-2006 at 14:16
	Nice one Finno....but lets hope it's a different story tomorrow night.
	You are what you wanna be....age doesn't matter

Blondie Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Moderator Group 1978 - 1981 ish Joined: 26-August-2005 Location: Ireland Status: Offline Points: 5081	Post Options Post Reply Quote Blondie Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 10-October-2006 at 15:42
	Just read Kays one about Bono hilarious !!!!!!!!!
	Blondie I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it !

Kay Fagan Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Moderator Group Joined: 28-March-2005 Location: Ireland Status: Offline Points: 3439	Post Options Post Reply Quote Kay Fagan Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 11-October-2006 at 12:25
	Everyone knows that if you are going to operate a business in today's world you need a domain name. It is advisable to look at the domain name selected as others see it and not just as you think it looks. Failure to do this may result in situations such as the following (legitimate) companies who deal in everyday humdrum products and services but clearly didn't give their domain names enough consideration: 1. A site called 'Who Represents' where you can find the name of the agent that represents a celebrity. Their domain name... wait for it... is www.whorepresents.com 2. Experts Exchange, a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views at www.expertsexchange.com 3. Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island at www.penisland.net 4. Need a therapist? Try Therapist Finder at www.therapistfinder.com 5. Then of course, there's the Italian Power Generator company... www.powergenitalia.com 6. And now, we have the Mole Station Native Nursery, based in New South Wales: www.molestationnursery.com 7. If you're looking for computer software, there's always www.ipanywhere.com 8. Welcome to the First Cumming Methodist Church. Their website is www.cummingfirst.com 9 . Want to holiday in Lake Tahoe? Try their brochure website at www.gotahoe.com 10. Then, of course, there's these brainless art designers, and their whacky website: www.speedofart.com
	Kay Fagan

eejit91 Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Moderator Group Grove Years 1979-1983-84ish Joined: 12-October-2005 Location: Sometimes here and sometime Status: Offline Points: 8180	Post Options Post Reply Quote eejit91 Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 11-October-2006 at 20:29
	A Catholic Priest was about to finish his tour of duty, and was leaving his Mission in the jungle where he has spent years teaching the natives when he realizes that the one thing he never taught them was how to speak English. So he takes the chief for a walk in the forest. He points to a tree and says to the chief, "This is a tree." The chief looks at the tree and grunts, "Tree." The Priest pleased with the response. They walk a little farther and he points to a rock and says, "This is a rock." Hearing this, the chief looks and grunts, "Rock." The Priest was really getting enthusiastic about the results when he hears a rustling in the bushes. As they peek over the top, he sees a couple of natives in the midst of heavy sexual activity. The Priest is really flustered and quickly responds, "Man riding a bike." The chief looks at the couple briefly, pulls out his blowgun and kills them. The Priest goes ballistic and yells at the chief that he has spent years teaching the tribe how to be civilized and kind to each other, so how could he kill these people in cold blood that way? The chief replied, "My bike."
	"Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better."

irish_mammy Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Die Hard Grover! 80-84 ish Joined: 16-October-2006 Location: Perth Western Australia (ex Status: Offline Points: 3782	Post Options Post Reply Quote irish_mammy Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 25-October-2006 at 14:22
	25 SIGNS YOU HAVE GROWN UP > >1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them. > >2. Having sex in a single bed is out of the question. > >3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge. > >4. 6:00 am is when you get up, not when you go to bed. > >5. You hear your favourite song in an elevator. > >6. You watch the Weather Channel. > >7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and "break up." > >8. You go from 130 days of holidays to 20. > >9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up." > >10. You're the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door > >won't turn down the stereo. > >11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you. > >13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up. > >14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers. > >15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt. > >16. You take naps from noon to 6 pm. > >17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one. > >18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 am would severely upset, rather >than settle,your stomach. > >19. If you're a girl, you go to the chemists for ibuprofen and antacid, not >condoms and pregnancy tests. > >20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff." > >21. You actually eat breakfast cereal at breakfast time. > >22. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to >drink that much again." > >23.90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work. > >24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar. > >25. You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't >apply to you and can't find one to save your sorry old arse. Then you >forward it to a group of old friends because you know they'll enjoy it & do >the same. >
	Lesley 25th June - 25th July. Get organising my nights out. Child can stay in the car. Grove 1980-1984

Biker Pat Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List I spend too much time here!!! 72-75 Joined: 26-April-2005 Location: Swords, Co Dublin (ex Celti Status: Offline Points: 40032	Post Options Post Reply Quote Biker Pat Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 28-October-2006 at 10:40
	Madonna's husband told her that he won't be giving her the credit card again to go out and get a "little black number"
	May be going to hell in a bucket but at least I'm enjoying the ride. Biker Pat Grove 1972-1975

irish_mammy Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Die Hard Grover! 80-84 ish Joined: 16-October-2006 Location: Perth Western Australia (ex Status: Offline Points: 3782	Post Options Post Reply Quote irish_mammy Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 28-October-2006 at 13:39
	This is for the guys. Enjoy. Men strike back! How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened when she brings it ------------------------------------------------------------ -------- Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman ? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you . ------------------------------------------------------------ -------- Why do women have smaller feet than men ? It's one of those " evolutionary things " that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink ! ! ------------------------------------------------------------ -------- How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart ? When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..." ------------------------------------------------------ How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't. There is a clock on the oven. ------------------------------------------------------------ ------- Why do men fart more than women? Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure . ------------------------------------------------------------ ------- If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first ? The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in . ------------------------------------------------------------ ------- What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig? A woman who won't do what she's told ------------------------------------------------------------ -------- I married a Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always ! ! ! ------------------------------------------------------------ ------- Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90% ! ! It's called a Wedding Cake ! ! ! ------------------------------------------------------------ ------- Why do men die before their wives? They want to. ------------------------------------------------------------ ------- Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy. ------------------------------------------------------------ ------- In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested. ------------------------------------------------------------ ------- Send this to a few good men who need a laugh and to the select few women who can handle the truth !
	Lesley 25th June - 25th July. Get organising my nights out. Child can stay in the car. Grove 1980-1984

Biker Pat Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List I spend too much time here!!! 72-75 Joined: 26-April-2005 Location: Swords, Co Dublin (ex Celti Status: Offline Points: 40032	Post Options Post Reply Quote Biker Pat Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 02-November-2006 at 18:39
	A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started." Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?" The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster." Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster." He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then " he said with a deep sigh, "Let's put all these Corn Flakes back in the box."
	May be going to hell in a bucket but at least I'm enjoying the ride. Biker Pat Grove 1972-1975

Blondie Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Moderator Group 1978 - 1981 ish Joined: 26-August-2005 Location: Ireland Status: Offline Points: 5081	Post Options Post Reply Quote Blondie Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 02-November-2006 at 21:18
	Ah pat like that one a lot lol Ok heres one for you little boy disturbs his parents having sex mum was ontop. The boy asks what are you doing???????? Mum says "Dad has a big belly so i get on top of it 2 help flatten it out " Boy says "Ur wasting ur time cuz when you go out shopping the lady next door gets down on her knees and blows it up again "
	Blondie I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it !

Blondie Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Moderator Group 1978 - 1981 ish Joined: 26-August-2005 Location: Ireland Status: Offline Points: 5081	Post Options Post Reply Quote Blondie Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 02-November-2006 at 21:23
	Priest was sitting next to paddy on a flight. Paddy orders a rum and coke. The flight attendent asked the priestif he would like a drink. He replied in disgust "I'd rather be rapedbe raped by a dozen whores then let liqor touch my lips" Paddy handed his drink back and said" me too I didnt know we had a choice " !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
	Blondie I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it !

irish_mammy Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Die Hard Grover! 80-84 ish Joined: 16-October-2006 Location: Perth Western Australia (ex Status: Offline Points: 3782	Post Options Post Reply Quote irish_mammy Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 03-November-2006 at 03:44
	I Owe My Mother..... My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that that will come out of the carpet." My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!" My mother taught me LOGIC. " Because I said so, that's why." My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me." My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident." My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about." My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper." My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!" My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone." My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
	Lesley 25th June - 25th July. Get organising my nights out. Child can stay in the car. Grove 1980-1984

irish_mammy Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Die Hard Grover! 80-84 ish Joined: 16-October-2006 Location: Perth Western Australia (ex Status: Offline Points: 3782	Post Options Post Reply Quote irish_mammy Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 08-November-2006 at 13:09
	BLONDE ONE-LINERS Why can't blondes take coffee breaks? They're too hard to re-train. What do you call 9 blondes in a circle? A dope ring. Why can't blondes be pharmacists? Because they can't figure out how to fit the bottle in the typewriter. What's the definition of eternity? 4 blondes at a 4 way stop. Why do blondes have TGIF on their shoes? "Toe goes in first". What did the blonde say when she looked into the box of Cheerios? "OH LOOK!!! Donut seeds." What do you call a blonde with two brain cells? Pregnant with twins.
	Lesley 25th June - 25th July. Get organising my nights out. Child can stay in the car. Grove 1980-1984

eejit91 Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Moderator Group Grove Years 1979-1983-84ish Joined: 12-October-2005 Location: Sometimes here and sometime Status: Offline Points: 8180	Post Options Post Reply Quote eejit91 Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 08-November-2006 at 16:32
	Hilarious................ Subject: Genuine complaints to Town Councils 1) "My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it." 2) "He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it anymore." 3) "It's the dog's mess that I find hard to swallow." 4) "I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off." 5) "I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage ..." 6) "... and their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence" 7) "I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off." "My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?" 9) "I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall." 10) "Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant." 11) "I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen. 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and 50% are plain filthy." 12) "I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers." 13) "The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared." 14) "Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour and not fit to drink." 15) "Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces." 16) "I want to complain about the farmer across the road; every morning at 6am his cock wakes me up and its now getting too much for me." 17) "The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous." 1 "Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third so please send someone round to do something about it." 19) "I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night." 20) "Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife" 21) "I have had the Clerk of Works down on the floor six times but I still have no satisfaction." 22) "This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broke and we can't get BBC2."
	"Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better."