Joke !!!

LADY'S YEARLY EXAM

Went to the doctor for my yearly physical.

The nurse starts with certain basics.

How much do you weigh?' she asks. '135,' I say.
The nurse puts me on the scale. It turns out my weight is 180.

The nurse asks, 'Your height?' '5 foot 4,' I say.
The nurse checks and sees that I only measure 5'2'.

She then takes my blood pressure and tells me it is very high.
'Of course it's high!' I scream, 'When I came in here I was tall and
Slender! Now I'm short and fat!'

She put me on Prozac. What a bitch.

The BAILOUT MASCOT...

First Time Sex

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over for dinner on Friday night and to meet her parents This being such a huge event she announces that after dinner she wanted to go out and to make love for the first time. The boy is ecstatic, but has never had sex before,so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and the pharmacist helps the boy for a hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex. At the register the Pharmacist asks the boy now many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3 pack, 10 pack or a family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he expects to be rather busy, it being the first time and all.

That night the boy shows up at the girlfriends house and meets her at the front door. Oh' I'm so excited that you are going to meet my parents, come on in' The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the parents are already seated. He quickly bows his head and offers to say grace.

A minute passes and the boy is still in deep prayer,with his head down. 10 minutes pass and he still has he head bowed and is still praying. Finally after 20 minutes with his head down ,the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend

"I had no idea you were so religious"

The boy turns and whispers back

 "I had no idea your Father was a Pharmacist"

Quickie

 The only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their 8
 year-old son in the apartment was to send him out
 on the balcony with a lollypop and tell him to report on all the
 neighbourhood activities.

 He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into
 operation:
 'There's a car being towed from the parking lot' he shouted.
 'An Ambulance just drove by.'
 'Looks like the Anderson's have company' he continued.
 'Matt's riding a new bike....'
 'Looks like the Sanders are moving'
 'Jason is on his skate board....'

 After a few moments he announced 'The Coopers are having sex!!'
 Startled, his Mum and Dad shot up in bed!
 Dad cautiously called out 'How do you know they are having sex?'

 'Jimmy Cooper is standing on his balcony with a lollipop.'