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Pogues and Dondons Jokes only

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DONDON View Drop Down
Die Hard Grover!
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73-77

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote DONDON Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22-June-2010 at 23:07
How many penguins does it take to change a light bulb?







None, girafes cant fly
Grover from 73(old Grove)

In the year of the bankers and developers
When recession raged across the land
there were many driven by the hopelessness to set sail for the Americas and Australia
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Pogue Mahoney View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Pogue Mahoney Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23-June-2010 at 04:58
How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?

One- but the lightbulb must really want to be changed.





How many women with PMS does it take to change a lightbulb?


'None of your f**king business!
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Pogue Mahoney View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Pogue Mahoney Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23-June-2010 at 04:59
One penguin says to the other -"It looks like you are wearing a tuxedo"

The other penguin says -"How do you know I'm not?"
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DONDON View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote DONDON Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24-June-2010 at 00:20
A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and talk turns to their adventures on the sea. The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg-leg, a hook, and an eye patch.

The seaman asks, "So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?" The pirate replies, "We were in a storm at sea, and I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off."

"Wow!" said the seaman. "What about your hook"? "Well", replied the pirate, "We were boarding an enemy ship and were battling the other sailors with swords. One of the enemy cut my hand off."

"Incredible!" remarked the seaman. "How did you get the eye patch"? "A seagull dropping fell into my eye," replied the pirate.

"You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?," the sailor asked incredulously. "Well," said the pirate, "it was my first day with my hook"
Grover from 73(old Grove)

In the year of the bankers and developers
When recession raged across the land
there were many driven by the hopelessness to set sail for the Americas and Australia
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DONDON View Drop Down
Die Hard Grover!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote DONDON Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24-June-2010 at 13:05


Edited by DONDON
Grover from 73(old Grove)

In the year of the bankers and developers
When recession raged across the land
there were many driven by the hopelessness to set sail for the Americas and Australia
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DONDON View Drop Down
Die Hard Grover!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote DONDON Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24-June-2010 at 13:06
Grover from 73(old Grove)

In the year of the bankers and developers
When recession raged across the land
there were many driven by the hopelessness to set sail for the Americas and Australia
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Pogue Mahoney View Drop Down
I have no life!
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68-71

Joined: 08-February-2006
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Pogue Mahoney Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24-June-2010 at 18:59
Why did Jesus and the apostles sit at the same side of the table for the Last
Supper?


They all wanted to get in the photograph
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DONDON View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote DONDON Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25-June-2010 at 21:36
A Dubliner proposes to his girlfriend on Saint Patrick’s Day and gives her a ring with a synthetic diamond.

"You cheap bum!" she yells. "This isn’t even real."

"I know," he says. "But in honor of Saint Patrick, I thought I’d buy you a sham-rock."
Grover from 73(old Grove)

In the year of the bankers and developers
When recession raged across the land
there were many driven by the hopelessness to set sail for the Americas and Australia
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Pogue Mahoney View Drop Down
I have no life!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Pogue Mahoney Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26-June-2010 at 11:25
knocks knock

Who's there?

Mr. Interrupt Everyone.

Mr. Interru...

Hey-What's for dinner?
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Aries View Drop Down
I spend too much time here!!!
I spend too much time here!!!
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70’s ish

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Aries Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26-June-2010 at 17:24

Ma..can I play with Grandad

No..we've dug him up twice this week already

THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE
BUT IT'LL PISS YOU OFF FIRST
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Pogue Mahoney View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Pogue Mahoney Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27-June-2010 at 02:58
New immigrants take a visit to the shopping mall. They had never seen an
elevator before. The mom goes off shopping while the dad and son watch
the elevator doors opening and a big fat woman walks in, the doors close.
When they open again a young beautiful woman walks out. Next they watch
a skinny ugly women walk in, the doors close, open again and a big buxom
knockout of a woman walks out. The dad says to his son-"Run quick and
get your mother"

Edited by Pogue Mahoney
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DONDON View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote DONDON Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29-June-2010 at 15:58

Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake.

The average person over 40 years of age can't do it!

  1. This is this cat
  2. This is is cat
  3. This is how cat
  4. This is to cat
  5. This is keep cat
  6. This is an cat
  7. This is old cat
  8. This is person cat
  9. This is busy cat
10. This is for cat
11. This is forty cat
12. This is seconds cat

Now go back and read the third word in each line from the top down.


Grover from 73(old Grove)

In the year of the bankers and developers
When recession raged across the land
there were many driven by the hopelessness to set sail for the Americas and Australia
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BrendanFella View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote BrendanFella Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29-June-2010 at 16:09
40 seconds?.....It took me an hour
BrendanFella

IRISH DIPLOMACY IS....The ability to tell a man to Go To Hell so that He looks forward to making the trip.

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DONDON View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote DONDON Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29-June-2010 at 16:14

Two hillbillies Ed and Red walk into a bar. While having a shot of whiskey, they talk about their moonshine operation. Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress.

One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, "Kin ya swallar?"

The woman shakes her head no.

"Kin ya breathe?"

The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no. The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up the back of her dress, yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue.

The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth. As she begins to breathe again, the hillbilly walks slowly back to the bar.

His partner says, "Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver', but I ain't never seed nobody do it!"

Grover from 73(old Grove)

In the year of the bankers and developers
When recession raged across the land
there were many driven by the hopelessness to set sail for the Americas and Australia
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Pogue Mahoney View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Pogue Mahoney Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29-June-2010 at 19:54
Originally posted by BrendanFella BrendanFella wrote:

40 seconds?.....It took me an
hour


See- I told you that you were illegitimate...you can't read
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Pogue Mahoney View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Pogue Mahoney Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29-June-2010 at 19:57
If Guinness came from the sea nobody would be blaming BP for the spill.
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BrendanFella View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote BrendanFella Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29-June-2010 at 22:36

Originally posted by Pogue Mahoney Pogue Mahoney wrote:

Originally posted by BrendanFella BrendanFella wrote:

40 seconds?.....It took me an
hour


See- I told you that you were illegitimate...you can't read

And to think that I'm the BRAINS of the family....makes ya wonder, doesn't it?

BrendanFella

IRISH DIPLOMACY IS....The ability to tell a man to Go To Hell so that He looks forward to making the trip.

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Pogue Mahoney View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Pogue Mahoney Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17-July-2010 at 16:02
A giraffe walks into a bar and says

Highballs on me
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Rolo View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Rolo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20-July-2010 at 11:54

Have to rustle up a possee to go look for Dondon who seems to have gone missing recently.

Place just ain't the same without his special brand of humour.

I'm hoping he has just gone to Joke Refresher School and will soon be back cheering up our days.

Over to you Dondon.......................

 

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Aries View Drop Down
I spend too much time here!!!
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70’s ish

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Aries Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20-July-2010 at 13:26
I'm looking for him too. he said he wanted to come to Balcarrick next Friday
THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE
BUT IT'LL PISS YOU OFF FIRST
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