Pogues and Dondons Jokes only

John, woke up after the annual office Christmas party with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening.

After a trip to the bathroom, he made his way downstairs, where his wife put some coffee in front of him.

"Louise," he moaned, "tell me what happened last night. Was it as bad as I think?"

"Even worse," she said, her voice oozing scorn. "You made a complete ass of yourself. You succeeded in antagonizing the entire board of directors and you insulted the president of the company, right to his face."

"He's an asshole," John said. "Piss on him."

"You did," came the reply. "And he fired you."

"Well, screw him!" said John.

"I did. You're back at work on Monday.

 I decided to trace my family tree because I'm not very good at drawing.

Interesting fact, A shark will only attack you if your wet.

Did you hear about the new factory that Kraft Foods is building in Israel.............It's called Cheeses of Nazareth.

 Golf balls are like eggs.They're white. they're sold by the dozen, and every week you have to buy more

What did the sign say on the door of the whorehouse.

 Beat it were closed

A man recieved a call from the coroner, who wanted to talk about his wife's recent death.The Man told him the sad story: "We were on the fourth hole, and Lily, my Wife was standing on the Ladies tee' about thirthy yards ahead of the men's tee when I hit my drive.
From the sound when the ball hit her head and the way She dropped like a stone,I knew instantly that she was dead.God knows where the ball ended up!
"I see said the coroner."Well that explains the injury to her head but what about the ball that was wedged up her rectum?"
"Oh explained the Man,"That was my provisional.